Father Leaves 2-Year-Old in Cold Truck Outside Stripper Bar

A satirical look at current events!

Father Leaves 2-Year-Old in Cold Truck Outside Stripper Bar:  A 24-year-old man who left his small daughter in his pickup truck while he got drunk in a Van Nuys, California stripper bar was arrested on suspicion of willful harm to a child.  Hopefully, incidents like this will finally convince strip clubs to add child-care facilities to their establishments.

Man Builds Electric Chair, Tries to Kill Wife:  A man in Britain was arrested after building a homemade electric chair in his garage and attempting to electrocute his wife in it.  When asked why he would want to electrocute his wife, the man said its more humane than lethal injection.

Man Composes 1900-Page Suicide Note:  A 35-year-old man who recently took his own life on the Harvard campus left behind a 1900-page suicide note.  Authorities say they’re not exactly sure why the man killed himself, but they’re reasonably certain it wasn’t because he had writers block. 

Family Waits for Word on Sinkhole Victim:  Authorities are still trying to recover the body of Jeff Bush, the Florida man believed dead after a sinkhole opened up beneath his bedroom.  On a positive note, at least the family won’t have to pay to bury him. 


Hot Tub Death:  Arkansas police are investigating the death of a man found nude with a dog collar around his neck in an empty hot tub next to a sleeping local TV weatherman Brett Cummins.  Sounds like Cummins is in some real hot water.

Schwarzenegger Returns to Bodybuilding:  Arnold Schwarzenegger is returning to the bodybuilding world as the executive editor for both Muscle Fitness and Flex magazines, to which he will contribute monthly columns and dish out all the personal and professional insight.  And the only thing that seems to be missing in his return to bodybuilding is his body.

Many Americans Still Drinking too Much:  According to a new study, on any given day in the United States, 18 percent of men and 11 percent of women are drinking more alcohol than federal guidelines recommend.  So next time you encounter an alcoholic, ask him to consider federal guidelines before taking that next drink. 

US Proposes Drone Base Near Malibu:  The United States Navy is proposing to station a drone operations base at an airfield near the famed Malibu, California.  Proving that we’re willing to go to almost any lengths to take photographs of celebrities. 


Double Arm Transplant:  A German farmer who received the world’s first double arm transplant is doing well.  Doctors pronounced the surgery a success after he was able to hold the hospital billing department off at an arm’s length.

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Deborah Lashever March 05, 2013 at 07:16 PM
None of this is in any way funny. You are making fun of some horrible types of situations. Not cool. This kind of negative crap does not help anyone in anyway. Please take these types of blogs off the Patch forever. Not just in really bad taste--they aren't even good if you like this type of humor.
Carlos Delray March 06, 2013 at 02:08 AM
What happened to free speech. If you don't like it Deborah Lashever post somewhere else
Johnny Robish March 07, 2013 at 06:46 AM
Thanks Carlos for the free speech defense! Funny how harmless jokes draw that strong of a response. Its my sincere hope that Deborah gets the help she needs.


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