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Health & Fitness

First Porn Company Busted Under LA's Condom Law

A satirical look at current events!

First Porn Company Busted Under LA's Condom Law:  Porn production company Immoral Productions has become the first porn company to be targeted under LA County's controversial new municipal code requiring porn actors to use condoms.  County officials defend the new law, pointing out that this is where the “rubber meets the code.”

US Hard Drug Use Drops:  A new government survey says more Americans are smoking marijuana, while the use of more notorious drugs such as cocaine have fallen off.  Guess more and more people are realizing that cocaine isn’t all its cracked up to be.

Lindsay Lohan Sentenced:  Lindsay Lohan posed for yet another mug shot after pleading no contest in Santa Monica Superior Court and being booked for reckless driving and lying to police after an accident along the Pacific Coast Highway this past June.  Which gives her the distinction of being the only actress in Hollywood who actually has more mug shots than headshots. 

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Lululemon Pulling See-Through Yoga Pants:  The athletic-wear company Lululemon was forced to pull new shipments of its yoga pants off the shelves after the women’s bottoms were found to have what the company called an “unacceptable level of sheerness.”  On a positive note, record numbers of men are now signing up for yoga classes.

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Man Banned from Every Library on Earth:  A judge has banned a 20-year-old Wisconsin man from "all the libraries on the face of the earth" as a condition of his $1,000 bond, after being accused of openly masturbating in the Racine Public Library last week.  That seems a bit harsh.  They should at least allow him to go to libraries till he needs glasses.

900 Dead Pigs Found Floating in Chinese River:  Over 900 dead pigs were found floating in a river that provides water for nearby Shanghai, and Chinese officials say they will launch an investigation into what happened—and if drinking water has been compromised.  In response, the State Department is cautioning anyone traveling to China over the next month to avoid any luncheon specials containing pork.

New TSA ‘Knives Allowed’ Policy Sparks Fury:  More than 9,300 people have signed a petition to reverse the Transportation Security Administration’s new policy allowing some knives, golf clubs, baseball bats, hockey sticks and other sports equipment on planes while continuing a ban on items such as hand sanitizer.  The policy makes good sense though.  I shudder to think how many lives could be lost at the hands of some madman wielding a 3.5 ounce bottle of hand sanitizer. 

Man Returns Library Book 69 Years Late:  An Estonian man has finally returned a library book that he took out during WW II - 69 years late.  The book is 69-years overdue?  All I can say is, either this was one hell of a long book or this guy’s the world’s slowest reader.

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