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Health & Fitness

Connecticut Pastor Dies After Confessing Infidelity

Connecticut Pastor Dies After Confessing Infidelity:  The pastor for a Bridgeport, Connecticut church died of an apparent heart attack shortly after confessing to his congregation that he had committed an act of infidelity.  Now that’s what I call “drop-dead honesty.”

UK Police Shut Down Highway to Search for Man’s Penis:  After a distressed 40-year-old man was found by the side of the road off the A66 highway in Middlesbrough, U.K. with his penis severed, police shut down all 4 lanes of traffic to search for the missing member.  Now I see people get cut-off on the highway all the time, but this is just tragic.  All I can say is, it must have been one hell of a penis for them to have to shut down all four lanes.

Keith Richards to Write Children’s Book:  Its being reported that Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards is gearing up to write a book for children.  How sweet!  What could be a lovelier children’s story than Jack and Jill went up the hill to buy a gram of heroin?

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Rumors of Johnny Carson Sex Tape Circulating:  TMZ has learned that Johnny Carson recorded a sex tape with his wife back in the 1970s which has just hit the market and sources who’ve seen the tape are saying that Johnny's “Johnson” is absolutely ENORMOUS, describing it as at least 10 inches.  Well this casts the old “Heeeeere's Johnny” in a whole different light. 

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Duke University Rules Student Porn Star Broke No Rules:  Duke University has ruled that a student who revealed she works as a porn actress in order to pay her fees has broken no rules, but stressed that financial aid is available for students.  I guess Duke must have figured that it doesn’t really matter if you’re doing porn or working at Walmart to pay your tuition, because either way, you’re getting screwed.  

Man Who Woke Up In Body Bag Has Died:  Walter Williams, the Mississippi man who woke up two weeks ago in a funeral home’s body bag as he was about to be embalmed, has reportedly died.  Sad, but on a positive note, at least he got to see the season finale Downton Abbey.

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Study Finds Great Sex Can Cause Temporary Amnesia:  According to new research, strenuous activity such as having great sex can trigger temporary amnesia.  Too bad, because its the bad sex that you really wanna forget.

San Diego Police Raid Strip Club - Photograph Strippers:  The mood at the strip club in Kearny Mesa quickly turned intense last week when 10 heavily-armed officers swarmed the building with guns drawn and bulletproof vest, lining up all 30 dancers, taking down their information, checking for proper permits and then photographing each of them.  Guess they must have been looking for "hardened criminals.  While some felt the SWAT Team raid was an overreaction, others praised how helpful the police were, even suggesting things the girls could wear while being photographed.

Cops Rescue Family from Angry House Cat:  Portland police received an unusual 911 dispatch when they were called to apprehend a 22-pound Himalayan cat called Lux, after it assaulted a baby, the baby’s parents and the family dog - forcing all to lock themselves in a bedroom while they waited for police intervention.  Police say the family appeared to be fine, but, as a precaution, medics did insist that the father be taken to the hospital to have his testosterone levels checked.

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